Sunday, 29 July 2012
Everyone needs some R&R sometimes ... even Mummy!
In fact I even found myself uttering the phrase; "Children. What the hell was I thinking!"
And that's a pretty awful thing to say really.
Of course I don't mean it. I love my kids more than life itself and I wouldn't be without them for anything.
But four years of the constant demands of small children and without a full night of sleep had really got me down. And I couldn't seem to find my way back up.
That's one of the hardest things about parenting, I think. It's a pretty relentless barrage so it can be very hard to find the reset button when you need to.
Happily this weekend, aided by my outstanding husband, Mum and mother-in-law I got to have a rest from being a Mum and just be me.
I went skiing with two brilliant friends who are 26 and 30 and don't have kids. And my husband and kids stayed home.
It was amazing.
I only had one rule and that was that no one could touch me, not a casual arm slung around my shoulder or a consoling hug when I crashed (which I did, but even that made me feel young, care free and a bit stupid) and it was such a relief to be able to reclaim my personal space.
I only had to think about myself, whether I was hungry, whether I had left my jacket behind, whether I had done up my seat belt.
And flying down a mountain is pretty much a solo experience, even if you are with friends.
By having such a total rest of being a Mum I found my reset button.
I missed my husband and kids so much and kept picturing all the things we would be doing if they were there too, even though I was really glad they weren't.
And this morning at 5.50am I was actually happy to play dinosaurs with Wild Man and didn't even contemplate (well, only for a second) turning the TV on and going back to sleep on the couch.
So here's what I think ... when you start getting totally overwhelmed by motherhood, or fatherhood, the only way to find your reset button is to put yourself first (for once) and make some time for you that is totally separate from your family.
Going away for three days isn't often possible (although I would highly recommend it if you can) but doing something for yourself and by yourself, even if it is just a couple of hours one afternoon, definitely clears your head and makes you a better parent when you get home.
And I think that maybe it is important for your kids to realise the you need to be a priority too.
Do you ever escape from parenthood?