Why does the weekend suck when you are a stay at home Mum?

If you are anything like me you spend a lot of time looking forward to the weekend.

It's hard being at home with the kids all week and I really look forward to spending time with my husband and having another pair of hands to help.

So why do weekends so often fail to live up to my expectations? In fact, I often find them much harder and more annoying than the week.

I've given this some thought and I think the problems, in no particular order, are...

- I still have the work mentality that weekends are time off but somehow my kids missed the memo that the weekend should be a break for Mummy.

- My husband works all week so his idea of a nice relaxing weekend is to potter around at home. Staying at home all weekend is my idea of hell ... I've already been trapped there with my kids all week and I want to go out as a family.

- My husband plays soccer and needs to do work around our half renovated house. I think it's great that he plays sport and I obviously want him to work on our house, but both of these things mean that I get left by myself with the kids ... again.

- During the week the kids and I have a routine. We have activities that provide structure but those don't exist on the weekend and it makes me feel aimless.

- My subconscious associates the weekend with late nights followed by sleeping in and a slow walk up the road for a long brunch with friends. That time has passed but somehow I think that is still what I'm yearning for *sob*.

- Why, when both parents are there, is it still my job to pack the food, nappies, dummies etc etc etc?

- Kids who have day sleeps hold you back. There just aren't that many places for great outings if you have to be back in the car by noon. We used to have such brilliant times on outings with my stepsons and I think I forget that they were much older than my kids currently are.

Don't get me wrong, we do have lots of good times. As I type this my husband, stepson and son are working together on our boat, they are all having a great time and it is so cute to watch. It's just that the weekends aren't as great as I think they are going to be.

I'm sure that it will get better with time. Little kids are hard work and it's difficult to have an insanely awesome weekend when you are exhausted.

But, for now, the phrase TGIF just doesn't ring true for me at all. It's more like thank goodness it's Sunday afternoon and everything is going back to normal tomorrow!

How are the weekends in your family? Do they live up to your expectations?

Halo building sets for 8 years olds ... you're kidding me!

Am I the only person that thinks it is profoundly inapporpriate that Mega Bloks makes Halo building sets for children aged 8 and up?

Yes, that's right ... Halo, the violent war game that is for adults.

For 8-year-olds.

Honestly, I'm appalled.

Now computer games don't really float my boat (although I did get quite caught up in Farmville for a while) and I don't generally like violent things so I'm not Halo's target market.

But I do believe in freedom of speech and choice so if you are an adult and want to play war games on your computer, knock yourself out.

But that shouldn't apply to kids.

Commonsensemedia reviews the Halo 2 computer game thus;
"Parents need to know that this game is not for kids -- hence the PAUSE rating and recommended age of 16 years and older. It's a moderately challenging first-person shooter game with lots of blood, gore, and scariness. You will use guns, swords, grenades, and other weapons to inflict death. Some torture is shown and you can also hijack cars. Online play will likely expose players to foul language."

Oh good, I'll get my 8-year-old nephew the Halo building set then.

I know that as parents we are all our children's gatekeepers and need to set appropriate boundaries but, frankly, I am stunned that this product exists.

I know that the Mega Bloks sets are just about building the models and playing with little model people, and perhaps it isn't so different from playing with those tiny army men that boys love.

But do we really want our 8-year-olds to play with a toy that is based on such a violent game?

It's that link to the game which bothers me so much ... if they love the model tank they have built how long is it until they want to play the game, or they go to online and watch clips of the game.

It just seems like we might be opening a pretty scary gate and once opened it's pretty hard to shut it again.

What boundaries do you draw for your kids? and do you think Halo building sets for kids as young as 8 are appropriate?

Eight percent of people do everything: A tale of preschool fundraising

I'm on the parent committee at my son's preschool. I'm a bit compulsive about 'joining in/helping out' and I figure that if I want my kids to go to a great preschool I need to be prepared to help raise money for the extras.

In the case of our not-for-profit preschool extras include new carpet (the current stuff is 30 years old but still servicable), cafe blinds around the veranda to make it useful on rainy days, and having duck eggs hatch into ducklings at the preschool.

The total cost will be about $10,000, which is a LOT of fundraising.

None of them are essential but all of them go towards making the preschool as good as it can be for our kids.

Which is why I am so suprised that some parents are so incredibly anti-fundraising.

I don't expect that everyone will be on the committee, and the activities aren't compulsory so if you are especially busy or a bit cash strapped that's fine, but you would think that people might be able to bother selling a few raffle tickets, or take the box of fundraising chocolates home and buy a couple themselves before returning the box, or spend an hour and a half helping at a Bunnings sausage sizzle.

Afterall, it's for our kids.

So I am endlessly astonished by the families that refuse to help. And yes, it is always the same families.

Why can't they just make a little bit of effort to help their children's preschool?

You don't have to be a leader or get really involved but a little bit of participation would be good!

The best and worst thing about the situation is that all the kids benefit, even though if their parents don't help.

That's good because it isn't the kids fault that their parents can't be bothered. They are all lovely kids and deserve the best experience possible.
 And it's bad because it would be very satisfying to tell a parent (who has just told you there is no way they would sell fundraising chocolates and resent being asked) that their child won't be able to watch a duckling hatch. And yes, I do know that is mean spirited but you wouldn't believe how rude some parents can be!

Mmm, perhaps this post should be called eight percent of people do everything and two percent do absolutely bloody nothing. And everyone in the middle helps a bit (which is all anyone needs to do, and completely fine!!!).

Are you a join-er-in-a-ra when it comes to your kid's activities??

Motherhood: It doesn't have to be a sisterhood but can't we at least be civil?

Yesterday I read an article on Essential Baby called 'It's Motherhood, Not a Sisterhood'.

In it the writer, Victoria Birch, bascially argued that it is OK, in fact it is good, for Mums to get online and have a go at other mother's parenting choices.

The article really got me thinking.

Victoria took the furore over the Time magazine breast-feeing cover as her example and argued that "The reason it descended into verbal fisticuffs is because mums are passionate human beings who give a sh*t about something."

What made me pause and think is that I both violently agree and violently disagree with her.

Yes, parents should stand up for what we believe in and new parenting ideas should be discussed and even debated.

But I wholeheartedly disagree that 'verbal fisticuffs' need to be part of that discussion.

Mothers don't need to join hands, flop out our saggy boobs and sit around the fire singing Kumbaya together but why can't we at least admire other mothers for their committment to doing what they consider best for their children? 

Only Mums know the absolute frustration and total love of motherhood - surely we can at least respect that common experience and assume that everyone is doing their best.

There isn't a right or a wrong in parenthood, so no one is ever going to win the debate, and while I agree that Mum's should stand up for what they believe I think it is really awful that we can't be more constructive and kind about how we express that.

And there is NO WAY I would let my children behave the way some people do online, and I bet that most of those people wouldn't speak that way if they were having the discussion in person.

Anonimity is a pretty safe seat to express your opinion from.

Park Politics - Sticks

All mothers know that there are no politics like park politics. Seriously, it makes the rough and tumble of the NSW Parliment's Bear Pit look like child's play (pardon the pun).

This morning's park politics was all about sticks and whether or not kids should play with them.

As far as I am concerned it is totally normal for kids, and particularly boys, to want to play with sticks and as long as you teach them to be considerate of others and play safely there is no problem. But everyone has different parenting opinions about these things and each to their own, I say.

But whatever your opinion is please don't make decisions about my children and sticks for me, except if there is a direct risk to your child in which case you should feel free to ask Wild Man to put the stick down (but you'll probably find that I am running towards the situation anyway).  If you feel that strongly about sticks at the park you should 1) prevent your own kids from playing with them and/or 2) consider going to a park that has flat green grass nd few trees, rather than one with bush. 

So clearly I do let Wild Man play with sticks at the park but there are definitely rules:
- I limit how big they are
- He has to be away from other kids and crowded areas
- Sticks and slippery dips don't mix
- You don't use the word 'kill' towards another person
- No sword fights at the park
- No sticks near people's faces. 

But, as long as they stick to the rules, I just can't see what the problem is with five small boys roaming around the local park hunting a Stegasorus with sticks. It seems like a normal thing for them to want to do, kids have played with sticks for generations and, in fact, I think it is great for their imaginations.

Kids need to be able to play rough, exciting and adventurous games. They need to sometimes take risks and I don't see how we can criticise our 14-year-olds for endlessly playing computer games if we didn't let them roam (relatively) free outside as children.

Seriously, would you rather see a child holding a stick or a mouse?