Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Motherhood: It doesn't have to be a sisterhood but can't we at least be civil?

Yesterday I read an article on Essential Baby called 'It's Motherhood, Not a Sisterhood'.

In it the writer, Victoria Birch, bascially argued that it is OK, in fact it is good, for Mums to get online and have a go at other mother's parenting choices.

The article really got me thinking.

Victoria took the furore over the Time magazine breast-feeing cover as her example and argued that "The reason it descended into verbal fisticuffs is because mums are passionate human beings who give a sh*t about something."

What made me pause and think is that I both violently agree and violently disagree with her.

Yes, parents should stand up for what we believe in and new parenting ideas should be discussed and even debated.

But I wholeheartedly disagree that 'verbal fisticuffs' need to be part of that discussion.

Mothers don't need to join hands, flop out our saggy boobs and sit around the fire singing Kumbaya together but why can't we at least admire other mothers for their committment to doing what they consider best for their children? 

Only Mums know the absolute frustration and total love of motherhood - surely we can at least respect that common experience and assume that everyone is doing their best.

There isn't a right or a wrong in parenthood, so no one is ever going to win the debate, and while I agree that Mum's should stand up for what they believe I think it is really awful that we can't be more constructive and kind about how we express that.

And there is NO WAY I would let my children behave the way some people do online, and I bet that most of those people wouldn't speak that way if they were having the discussion in person.
Anonimity is a pretty safe seat to express your opinion from.


  1. I always wonder what people think they gain when they bring down someone else's choices. Why does 'other' offend them so much? It's just bizarre to me. x

    1. It's weird isn't it. Everyone is trying their best and perfect parenting doesn't exist so no one is ever going to win to debate! Being mean about it is just such a waste of energy.
      Thanks for dropping by - I love your blog!

  2. I went to an essential baby blogmeet. It's bizarre, but I'm so much more polite to the people I met there, when I disagree with them online, than I am to the ones who are still 'strangers'. It's weird, I can't explain it - but I just give them more benefit of the doubt having met them, instead of just assuming they are bigoted idiots (which obviously anyone who disagrees with me is...)


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