Who has your back?

I know there is that saying that it takes a village to bring up a child but this morning I was thinking about how many people it takes to support a Mum.

Being the Mum of small kids is harder than I ever imagined and, to be completely honest, if it wasn't for the people around me I just can't imagine how I would cope. 

The pressure on your relationship, the tiredness, the sickness, the mess, cooking endless dinners, the tantrums, the guilt and millions of choices ... it can all be very overwhelming and being at home with your kids can feel a lot like being locked in a pressure cooker with two hyper monkeys who are determined to break you!

So how do you cope, let alone enjoy it?

I think the secret is to share the load. (This shouldn't be confused with palming off the responsibility for your kids.) 

I'm really lucky, I have a wonderful extended family, a brilliant husband and the best friends in the whole world. And I rely on all of them to get me though in very different ways.

Being able to let off steam, having someone to babysit occasionally or having someone turn up unannounced at 4.30pm, holding a casserole and say 'I've brought you dinner, can't stay the kids are in the car', can make all the difference.  

I love the old saying 'A problem shared is a problem halved' and it is never more true than when you have kids. It is like dropping a rock into a pond ... the ripples get smaller and smaller the further away from the rock they get.

But it does occur to me that different people help you in different ways, so here is the run down of how it works in my world ... is it the same for you?

Grandmas are for babysitting, and realistic support and advice about parenting and marriage. They also love your kids unconditionally which is amazing when you need to vent, and they tend to be able to see the big picture!

Husbands/partners are for hugs and physical comfort, companionship, making you feel attractive (mostly) and enjoying your kids together (sometimes, sometimes it feels more like you have a common enemy!). They're your family.

Friends are for sharing the unvarnished truth, non-competitive comparisons of where your kids are up to,  and dinners in times of need. They have your back.

And if all else fails I can refer back to my awesome friend Louise's favourite saying: "This too shall pass." 

To which I normally respond: "I bloody well hope so!"

So, how does your support network work? Could you cope without them?

Sometimes your friends blow your mind!

You know how sometimes you have those moments when a friend really blows you away with some previously undisclosed talent and you are left standing there saying to yourself 'bloody hell, I know that person'.

Well I had one of those moments on the weekend.

A really lovely friend of mine, Naomi, and her husband Gregory have opened a restaurant in  Newtown. Its called Hartsyard.

Over the last 6 months, while our kids are playing at the park, I've heard all about the trial and tribulations of getting a restaurant up and running, I've sympathised about their exhaustion and marvelled at their dedication.

I was delighted when they got really positive reviews, and pleased and relieved that is has proved extremely popular.

But I really had no idea how incredible their achievement is, or how incredible they are, until I went there for dinner on Saturday night.

We were driving down the street, looking for the restaurant when my husband suddenly exclaimed "Wow, look at how popular that place is ... hang on, that's it."

Hartsyard was packed with a cheerful crowd of happy customers. Suffice to say they aren't relying on friends to fill the tables.

The atmosphere Naomi and Gregory have created it awesome - relaxed but special.

Naomi made sure every customer felt welcome and the food was out of this world, every dish we had was mind-blowing.

Who knew Gregory could cook like that? I've had really nice beetroot dip that he'd made at a BBQ once but it didn't in any way prepare me for the food at his restaurant (obviously!).

I guess it's one thing to know that your friend's husband is a top chef, but something else to eat his food.

But the most amazing thing was that friends of mine have created this place. Friends that seem normal, that seem like me, have this amazing talent.

It's their baby, their dream and they've made it come true and now other people love it too.

In fact, the only thing I didn't like about our evening was that I wanted to lick my plate and even though Hartsyard is a relaxed restaurant, it's not quite that relaxed! And while I'm busy marvelling at my amazing friends, I don't want them to be mortifed by their embarrassing one.
 
So, if you do decide to go to Hartsyard for dinner one night (and I'd highly recommend that you do) check out Naomi and Gregory ... they're my friends ... how cool am I!


Have you ever been totally amazed by a friend who can do something incredible?