I hate ironing!

In my husband's dreams!

My annual iron fest is coming up and it has got me thinking about the 'I' word.

I really hate ironing and for the most part I don't do it. It is boring and hot and frankly I have better things to do with my time.

To quote my mother; "You're a long time dead" to which I have added "So why would you bother ironing?"

With that in mind the ironing policy in our house is as follows:

• My stepsons are old enough to do their own (and so be it if they don't). 
• My husband is certainly old enough to do his own. 
• My little kids look the same after 10 minutes whether I have ironed their clothes or not. 
• I don't buy myself clothes that need to be ironed. Sometimes, when I see a beautiful white linen shirt, that makes me sad but for the most part it is a sacrifice I am more than happy to make.

But when we all go to church on Christmas Day it is important to me that we look nice so on Christmas Eve I have my annual iron fest and iron everyone's clothes for the next day.

That reminds me how stupid it is and how much I hate it and I'm pretty much done for the next year.

In my defence, I am incredibly careful how I bring the clothes in from the line so we don't look too rumpled. I fold the clothes straight away and woe betide the child that play in the baskets of clean washing and gets them crumpled.

I also follow one fantastic piece of advice from Maggie Alderson who, in her SMH column, once said to always peg your t-shirts under the arms so you don't get visible peg marks. She probably doesn't even remember but she rocked my world that day!

Do you waste your life iron?

What would you change?

Spunk Rat and I, on our delicious child-free weekend away, were discussing the things in our past that we would do differently.

I don’t mean things like “I wish I hadn’t drunk the second half of the bottle of wine last night” I mean the big things – the decisions you make that, in retrospect, changed the course of your life.

I wish I had gone and lived overseas in my early 20s.

I had a serious boyfriend and great friends here and so I didn’t go. But I wish I had.

The thing is, I wouldn’t change the way things are now and the problem with hindsight is that you have to also accept that, had you chosen that other path, you probably wouldn’t have the life you have.

Perhaps I would be living in a castle on the edge of a windswept cliff in northern Scotland, married to a sexy Scot with an accent to die for.

Sounds pretty good in some ways but I can’t imagine that he would make me as happy (or annoyed, bless them) as Spunk Rat, Wild Man, Princess and my stepsons.

So, even though it is OK to look back, see the choices and acknowledge them, it seems pretty important to also acknowledge all the good things you have now and that the other road, the one you didn’t take, probably wouldn’t have led you to them.

When you look back can you see that some decisions you made actually change the direction of your life? Would you change your choices?

First world problem: who has ownership of the toothpaste?

This is petty. 

I know it is petty and definitely a first world problem but...

When I recently took Princess to hospital, as I was packing my toiletries, I carefully packed the spare tube of kid’s toothpaste for myself, rather than the single tube of grown-up toothpaste that was open on the bathroom sink.

My reasoning was simple – I didn’t want to take the ‘good’ toothpaste and leave Spunk Rat with the crappy kiddy stuff.

Two weeks later Spunk Rat went to Melbourne for work and he packed the good, grown-up toothpaste leaving me with the dud kid’s stuff that tastes of banana (AGAIN). Arrh!

I know this is pathetic and petty, I honestly do, and I also know that Spunk Rat was oblivious to the fact that I had previously sacrificed myself and taken the less good toothpaste. 

I’m am 100% confident he gave it absolutely no thought at all. 

But still, it was annoying!

So  who was right? If you are the one going away for a few days do you have a ‘right’ to the ‘good’ toothpaste?

PS. I do know that the answer is to buy a spare grown-up toothpaste and keep it in the cupboard but you’re crediting me with more organisational ability than I currently have!

  

What's your favourite kitchen appliance?

My Mum has offered to buy me a Thermomix.

It is incredibly generous of her because they frankly cost a fortune.

Although I know that everyone who has one swears they are the best thing ever, I'm not sure it is worth it. 

I already have a slow cooker, rice cooker, electric wok, mix master, barmix and so on.

And do I really need to be able to make my own caster sugar? They sell it at Coles, you know.

Unless it is going to plan the meal, buy the ingredients, realise it is time to start cooking, feed the kids and wipe their faces afterwards, how much better can the Thermomix be?

Umming and ahhing about a Thermomix, combined with the hideousness of planning a new kitchen, has really got me thinking about the appliances I have and which ones are worth the money.

I've come to the conclusion that, although I do really love my slow cooker, without a shadow of a doubt my favourite kitchen appliance is my electric wok.

It is amazing and makes stir frying so quick and easy. 

I also use it for cooking bolognaise, deep frying ... basically anything that you could do in a frying pan but it is better.

The thing I love most about it is how hot it gets. 

And it stays hot, even if your meat is straight out of the fridge and you can't be bothered cooking it in batches. 

Awesome.

So, what is your favourite kitchen appliance and what collects dust in your cupboard? And if you have a Thermomix is it worth the money?   

Kitchen renovations ... please help!

bahahahahaha - in my dreams!

We are going to renovate our kitchen.

I'm already over it and we have only just started getting quotes.

The whole project will involve moving several walls and will no doubt be incredibly painful and take twice as long as the builder promises.

So ...

I want to make sure that the end result - a sparkling new kitchen - is as good as it can be.

And I'm hoping that all of your will be able to help.

Please ...

I want to know what is the best and worst thing about your kitchen.

What do you love?

What do you curse every single day?

If you have renovated your kitchen what did you get right and what mistakes did you make?

There isn't a right or wrong answer here - our current kitchen has less than 130cm of bench space so anything will be better than that - I just want to get as much advice as possible about what makes a great kitchen.

Thanks!

What is the best and worst thing about your kitchen?   

Wine, Wine, Wine - taking the edge off suburbia

I love a glass of wine at the end of the day.

Somehow it feels grown up and a little bit posh.

It feels like I'm doing something for myself.

And most importantly it takes the edge off the tension of the day and makes me a more relaxed Mum and wife.

And all of that is fine but, as we all know, having a huge glass of wine every night isn't good for your health or for your waist line.

Why are the divine things in life always a bit bad for you??

I was chatting a with a lovely lady the other day who is about the same age as my Mum. I made a comment about wanting a glass of wine and she said:

"Not for me thanks. I try not to drink too much now to make up for how much I drank when my kids were little."

Which made me laugh until I cried (possibly that was partly hysteria and sleep deprivation!).

Certainly when my step-sons came to live with us at the same time that I got a huge and very stressful promotion I used to have a glass of wine or two every night.

It was honestly the only way I could cope - I was so tired and overwhelmed and without a glass of wine I was either too exhausted to talk or just really, really cross with everyone.

And I've certainly drunk my fair share of wine since I had Wild Man - as it turns out I'm a coffee in the morning, wine in the evening kind of Mum.

The uppers and downers of suburbia.

But just at the moment I'm doing Weight Watchers (why are those last five baby kilos SO hard to lose?) and wine is a lot of points so there isn't much drinking going on in our house.

And it turns out that I don't NEED a glass of wine in the evening. I just WANT one.

And I'm kind of relieved to find that out, to be honest.

As it turns out, what with the irritation of having small kids and tonnes of housework to do every day, I wasn't sure whether it was a need or a want any more. Phew!

Do you drink much? Do you spend the afternoon hanging out for 'wine o'clock"? Do you feel guilty about it? 

If you think you might have a drinking problem you can find more information and help at Drink Wise Australia.

Protecting my Dad's favourite poem - Night Noises by Joan Mellings

Some things about the foreverness of the Internet freak me out.

I hate the idea that some future employer of Wild Man's would be able to Google him and read what I wrote when he was three. But every cloud has a silver lining and in the case of the Internet I think that the lining of the silver cloud of foreverness is that things can be protected.

When I was little we had a book. I have no idea what it was called but there was a poem in it that my Dad loved and used to read to us when we were going to sleep.

All of us can quote parts of the poem even 30 plus years later.

My Dad has searched and searched for the poem online and finally found a version of it in some archived Canadian school reader. He swears that is the only copy in existence.

Whether or not there are others, an archived school reader doesn't fill me with faith that my Dad's favourite poem will be preserved, so I thought I would share it with you and hope that my blog's foreverness can help protect it.

Night Noises by Joan Mellings

After I’m in bed,
And there isn’t any light,
I like to lie and listen
To the noises of the night.

The tap, tap, tap of branches
Upon a window-pane,
The rustle of the leaves in wind
And gentle fall of rain.

Cars that pass each minute,
A lone plane in the sky,
The clock that plays a merry tune
An hourly lullaby.

Cats and dogs and roosters,
I listen to them all,
Every noisy, croaking frog
Upon the garden wall.

All day long I’m happy
In the sunny golden light,
But I like to lie and listen
To the noises of the night.

Joan Mellings, if you ever read this I'm not trying to steal your copyright. I just want to keep your lovely poem safe.

Cossie shopping post babies - it's not all about smoothing the bumps

So, we all know that swimming costume shopping post-babies was never going to be a good thing.

But the other day I was amazed to find myself happily choosing to buy the costume that looked second best.

Bahahahahaha yeah right!
In my dreams.

Unless you are a famous person or superwoman once you have grown a baby in your tummy you will almost definitely be fatter, flabbier (not the same thing), whiter, hairier and many other negative words ending in 'er'.

Goodness knows I am!

So you can imagine my surprise when, having tried on a few costumes, I didn't choose the one that smoothed the bumps and gave me a frankly amazing (and undeserved) hourglass figure.

I chose the one that that I perceived to be a 'younger persons costume'.

I've pretty much some to terms with the idea that my bikini days are behind me (unless some kind of miracle relating to exercise, chocolate cake and self control happens) but as it turned out I'm not ready to buy something that people my Mum's age* might try on ... however flattering.

I do know that what costume you wear doesn't change how old you look. But, for me, it did change how old I felt.

And if I have to go to the beach or pool and stand next to friends who haven't yet had kids, or who have done better at getting back to their pre-baby body, I don't want to look like I'm wearing a Nanna costume.

Even if I looked better in that costume then the one I bought!

Call me paranoid if you like but my time of being a 'young person' is slipping past and I don't want to hurry it on its way by my costume choice!

And, you know, when I went on to the costume designer's website the cossie I bought was in the 'Youth' section and the one I didn't buy was in 'Women' so clearly I'm not completely crazy!
 
Would you trade a costume that made you look better for a costume that made you look younger?

* This should not be taken as a criticism of people my Mum's age who are clearly awesome, sexy and amazing!

This is the one that looked best - insanely flattering!
image by Zoggs

This is the one I got - makes me feel younger and hides most of the bumps! image by Zoggs

A eulogy for waking up slowly

I want to wake up gently!

I don't really mind that my children wake me up so early but I REALLY hate having to spring out of bed and start doing things for them immediately.

I miss that five minutes of gently waking up.

I miss how comfortable your bed is when you first wake up, how soft your sheets are, how interesting the sunlight patterns coming through the windows, how warm and cosy you feel.

I miss those first few minutes of coming to wakefulness and pondering the world, slowly and gently.

I don't mind being woken up, but I truly wish that my children had a snooze button and I could go back to a life that includes that five minutes of sleepy bliss.

Seriously, these are the things no one tells you about parenthood!

Liquid eyeliner and why mothers should wear it.

I always used to wear eyeliner.

I think I have quite small eyes so it helps make them stand out a bit.

For a while after I had Wild Man I was too tired and overwhelmed to wear any make-up. It was all I could do to brush my teeth each day.

But gradually life came back under control. I started wearing make-up again and made a horrible discovery ... pencil eyeliner smudges really easily and when you are a tired mother you rub your eyes a lot!

Not a great combination.

I persevered for a while but each time I went near a mirror I was horrified by the black smudges around my eyes. Eventually I just gave up and resigned myself to beady little smudge-free eyes.

But recently I discovered liquid eyeliner.

It is slightly harder to put on than pencil but once it is dry it doesn't smudge, no matter how much I rub my eyes.

Happy days.

It's amazing how much more together a little bit of eyeliner makes a girl feel.

What super fast make-up tricks do you have?
   

Sometimes your friends blow your mind!

You know how sometimes you have those moments when a friend really blows you away with some previously undisclosed talent and you are left standing there saying to yourself 'bloody hell, I know that person'.

Well I had one of those moments on the weekend.

A really lovely friend of mine, Naomi, and her husband Gregory have opened a restaurant in  Newtown. Its called Hartsyard.

Over the last 6 months, while our kids are playing at the park, I've heard all about the trial and tribulations of getting a restaurant up and running, I've sympathised about their exhaustion and marvelled at their dedication.

I was delighted when they got really positive reviews, and pleased and relieved that is has proved extremely popular.

But I really had no idea how incredible their achievement is, or how incredible they are, until I went there for dinner on Saturday night.

We were driving down the street, looking for the restaurant when my husband suddenly exclaimed "Wow, look at how popular that place is ... hang on, that's it."

Hartsyard was packed with a cheerful crowd of happy customers. Suffice to say they aren't relying on friends to fill the tables.

The atmosphere Naomi and Gregory have created it awesome - relaxed but special.

Naomi made sure every customer felt welcome and the food was out of this world, every dish we had was mind-blowing.

Who knew Gregory could cook like that? I've had really nice beetroot dip that he'd made at a BBQ once but it didn't in any way prepare me for the food at his restaurant (obviously!).

I guess it's one thing to know that your friend's husband is a top chef, but something else to eat his food.

But the most amazing thing was that friends of mine have created this place. Friends that seem normal, that seem like me, have this amazing talent.

It's their baby, their dream and they've made it come true and now other people love it too.

In fact, the only thing I didn't like about our evening was that I wanted to lick my plate and even though Hartsyard is a relaxed restaurant, it's not quite that relaxed! And while I'm busy marvelling at my amazing friends, I don't want them to be mortifed by their embarrassing one.
 
So, if you do decide to go to Hartsyard for dinner one night (and I'd highly recommend that you do) check out Naomi and Gregory ... they're my friends ... how cool am I!


Have you ever been totally amazed by a friend who can do something incredible?

Jeans shopping post-kids a.k.a the road to hell!

Not what I was looking for ...

This morning I went jeans shopping.

There are a number of reasons this is a completely painful experience but the main one is that since I had kids I bulge in places that I never did before.

Yes I know stretch marks are battle scars and that my body has grown two amazing children blah blah blah.

However I got here, the end result is the same!

I was always one of those girls that had thighs and a bum, but a completely flat stomach and small waist. No more (thanks Wild Man and Princess!!)

So, while I used to walk into whichever shop, grab a size 10 and be pretty sure that all would be well, jeans shopping now involves trying to find something that I can wear almost every day, that will make me feel good about myself and as if I made even just a tiny amount of effort when getting dressed, that isn't too expensive (because when only one of you work expensive things are harder to justify), and that covers up my muffin top.

Challenging.

Add to that a one-year-old who needs to go home to bed and an overheated shopping centre and you are pretty much on the road to hell.

Lately, I've been pretty lazy about jeans shopping and have just grabbed something cheap and crappy, without trying it on, and hoped for the best.

But today I was determined to make an effort and buy something better than that.  Jeans thatb would make me feel good when I wore them.

So Princess and I wandered the shops.

We were ignored by unhelpful sales assistants, frowned at by other customers (yes I had a stroller in the aisle - what was I supposed to do, leave my baby at the door with the school bags??) and frankly I was a bit underwhelmed by what was on offer (given that I wasn't looking for purple, skinny jeans that showed off my butt cleveage).

I was just starting to 1) get very cross 2) look for a cafe and 3) think about leaving when ... we walked past, and then into, JAG.

Now, I tend to associate JAG with Christmas presents for my husband, father and stepsons because they have outstanding belts and wallets. But it turns out they also sell really nice jeans.

As we walked in a nice, friendly, not too skinny, well-dressed but not too posh sales assistant asked me "can I help?"

Yep that's right, she initiated the conversation instead of me having to interupt her gossiping with her colleague. And she really knew her stuff.

"I need jeans that I can wear all the time, I want them to be flattering and comfy, I want straight leg, NOT SKINNY, I don't want them to come up past my belly button or to show butt cleveage, and I like this kind of colour. What do you suggest?"

And she did the rest.

She had great suggestions about styles, played with Princess while I tried things on, brought the sizes that I needed (and started me with the biggest option so I got the joyous experience of announcing that I needed a smaller size!), talked knowledgeably about how much they would stretch, and where it was and wasn't OK for the material to wrinkle.

In short, she made the whole experience actually kind of fun, and certainly very easy.

And even better, she made me feel really good about myself, and my body and really, really good about the jeans I bought. So good that three hours later I am blogging about it (and no, I don't have a sponsorship deal with JAG ... in my dreams!)  

Oh, and the jeans were all on sale - 30% off!

Do you find jeans shopping to be a horrific experience? What are your best and worst sale assistant experiences? 

They're not breasts, they're props!

And so I introduce you to the crazy world of amateur theatre.

I am currently playing Yum Yum in The Mikado and, to the intense fascination of my non-theatre friends, I have to kiss someone who isn't my husband. *Gasp*

Luckily my husband has kissed quite a few women on stage (including me) and couldn't care less.

He even went to far as to provide a packet of breath mints to help the cause.

Nanki Poo (the character I kiss) is far from the first fellow I have pashed on stage but kissing on stage is always a weird thing, and it is even weirder when you have been married for a while and therefore only kissed one person for years and years and years.

Perhaps I am just out of practice.

Still, as long as you follow the unspoken ettiquete of kissing someone you aren't attracted to, just because the script said you should, everything will be fine.

On-stage kissing ettiquete:
1. Brush your teeth
2. Your tongue should at all times stay in your own mouth
3. Close your eyes (like the situation isn't weird enough already)
4. Don't move your head too much
5. Don't push your faces together too hard
6. It will be easier if you work out which side your heads are going to go to first, yes I know it will be a strange conversation but believe me it is worth it.
7. It will look more realistic if your bodies touch. I know you're only acting but people who are actually attracted to each other generally let their bodies touch when kissing.
8. If you possibly can, try to have your first kiss away from the rest of the cast. It is just less embarrassing.

Honestly, it doesn't need to be that big a deal and most theatre people are pretty touchy-feely anyway but I do think the best attitude to take is this ... on stage having your butt grabbed, your boobs fondled or your lips kissed by a relative stranger is all part of the job.

So be business like about it ... and just imagine how Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas must have felt when they were filming Basic Instinct!

Real Life Barbie, Do We Really Want to Look Like That?

I was blown away by the 'Real Life Barbie' story today.

I loved Barbie as a child, I loved the clothes, the cars and Ken. I thought she was so beautiful and I couldn't wait to grow up and be as glamorous and beautiful as her.

But as an adult do I really want to look like her? The answer is definitely no!

I wish I was skinnier, that my legs were longer and my butt smaller. And there are even some glorious women in the world that I would be happy to look a bit more like; Angelina Jolie, Heidi Klum, Christina Applegate to name a few. But not Barbie.

Why, you ask? Well, because she doesn't look real. Real women don't look like that, not even the famous ones, we have bigger waists, smaller eyes and fatter bums, we have laugh lines and grey hairs and cellulite.

I can't imagine that someone who looks like Barbie (either naturally or with a little help), having kids and a normal, nice husband and a house in the suburbs. I can't imagine her making friends at her son's preschool or getting filthy while camping with her kids. In fact, I can't imagine her living anything that remotely resembles my life.

So whether Valeria Lukyanova actually does look like a child's doll, or whether she used Photoshop to look like that doesn't matter. Either way she doesn't seems real and I think that's kind of sad.